i love being alone

I’m an introvert so I recharge my energy by spending time by myself. Some people find spending time with yourself to be an uncomfortable prospect, but I love it.

I’ve always been a part of groups growing up — swimming, concert band, marching band, so as a kid, I was used to having a group of people to spend most if not all my time with. During my first year of college, I had a massive friend group so I always had someone to spend time with. Then, during my second year, I lived with five extroverted friends, and the suite was seldom quiet. I’ve always been surrounded by people with lots to say, and I enjoyed it as I felt loved and appreciated when I was in their company.

My third year of university has been very different from my prior experiences. I live with two of the same people that I lived with last year, but we don’t spend as much time together. That’s because I consciously decided to dedicate more time to being alone. Getting to spend so much uninterrupted time by myself these past few months has allowed me to really appreciate who I am. I’ve had a healthy sense of self-love and self-understanding since I was fifteen, but this stretch of time has allowed me to really get to know myself and more importantly: work on myself. This is the first time since I was fourteen that I’ve been genuinely single and without a romantic partner for over a year. This is the first time in my life that I don’t have a person (i.e. a best friend or partner) and while I miss having that sometimes, I’m content on my own, too.

I have my cat, Verona, and I talk to my parents and siblings often, I have friends on campus who I see weekly and friends back home who I text every now and again, but the vast majority of my time is spent completely alone. And I love it. This is the most creative I’ve been in my entire life. After years of thinking about writing and doing it sparsely, I’m finally doing it daily. Aside from writing, I express myself creatively through cooking as well by making new dishes every once in a while.

I know for some the pandemic made them realize that they were a lot more introverted than they initially thought, but it actually made me realize I was more extroverted than I had previously thought. Going into college, I was eager to spend lots of time with friends — which inevitably led to burnout because although the pandemic made me a little more extroverted than I was before, by and large, I’m still an introvert. I spent two years spending as much time as possible with people, just soaking it all up because I had been deprived of it for about half of 2020. After two years, I welcome this change. I’m happy to spend so much more time alone now, it’s refreshing.

I seem to go through two-year phases, so I bet about a year or so from now I’ll be itching to spend a little more time with people. Here’s hoping that if and when I do, I’m more adept at finding a happy medium between socialization and alone time. ‘Cause god knows I love my time alone.