sharing some of my favorite poems
Good evening all! I have a quick blog post for you all tonight — I’ll be sharing a few of my favorite poems I’ve written over the years. These are by no means my most favorite poems, but they’re up there.
maybe
08.05.18
maybe, it wasn’t
love.
because love is complete trust.
because love is complete & total emotional vulnerability.
because love is believing with every fiber of your being that you can rely on them for
anything.
instead-
maybe, it was just the way you looked at
me.
maybe, it was just the way you joked with
me.
maybe, it was just the
codependency.
maybe, it was the fact that you
belittled me & convinced me that it was out of love,
lied to me time & time again when you were embarrassed by your thoughtless actions,
unknowingly left me crying because you consciously refused to talk to me,
means that maybe, it wasn’t
love.
you said those three infamous words first.
you said them more.
you said them
last.
you made me feel inadequate for saying them out of the
blue.
when i would spend hours upon hours out of my day wishing, just wishing that i was with
you.
did you have an ulterior motive during the months of flattery or with your utilization of those infamous words?
or are you truly just as foolish as i perceive you to be?
i really do hope that you accomplished whatever goal you initially set out to
achieve.
i was blinded.
maybe by the toxicity, maybe by the diseased roots we planted, or maybe by the codependency.
i was completely & totally
blinded.
i looked to you like an ignorant child, begging for you to save me from the part of my mind that frightened me.
a place i relied on for normalcy.
a place i never took the time to understand.
a place i now realize
i constructed.
i made the rules.
i forged the lock & key.
a place i locked myself
in.
i was a blind child relying on you, & only you, for happiness.
you showed me how i was supposed to feel, every day.
if you were happy, so was i.
if you were sad, so was i.
if you were missing, i was lost.
because my world was
you.
although i was blinded, i was still aware enough to realize the damage of the unrepairable gash you planted deep within my willingness to trust when you “forgot” everything you said over the course of a week.
when you “forgot” about something that to you, apparently meant less than nothing, but to me, meant so much more.
when you forgot what trust meant.
you desecrated the blind, hopeful, & ever-loving trust with your false assumptions & seemingly never-ending surplus of miscommunications.
so when you tested the waters again; when you stopped talking-
every fiber in my being knew that it was time to destroy the blinders that hid the atrocities from my hazy mind.
i was blinded,
but now, i can see.
maybe, it wasn’t
love.
chapter two
02.03.19
let’s rewind to a different time.
to a time before i knew what it felt like to be completely & totally
shattered.
this was just a few short years ago, but i was so different.
all thanks to
you.
losing you was the brutal end to chapter one.
but i learned, i grew, i
changed.
accepting the fact that i had lost you was the start of chapter two.
& chapter two is so much more beautiful than anything i have ever experienced
before.
you took our friendship.
& you taught me
heartbreak.
but heartbreak is so important.
heartbreak taught me what mattered in
life.
thank you for flipping the page.
thank you, so much, for being the catalyst to start my next
chapter.
waterways
08.05.19
a serene pond:
sunlight glinting
off the cool,
unmoving waters.
tadpoles & schools of fish tread
through the crystalline blue,
uprooting the peacefulness
of the stagnant waters
in their wake.
decades-old trees hang overhead,
providing shade,
providing solace — existing solely as an escape from the sun’s unrelenting rays.
lily pads are strewn
throughout the calm waters;
frogs mount them
& make the serenity
of the pond their
home.
as time passes,
the waters erode
at the surrounding earth,
& the waters
of the pond
give life to
a gentle
stream.
the jovial tadpoles are the first
to explore the new waterway,
& the schools of fish aren’t long after.
the stream regenerates the ecosystem
as it cuts
through more
& more
earth
& makes its way
into new,
unimaginable
frontiers.
the trees overhead continue
to provide shade
for the stream,
& the young animals,
who choose
to inhabit it.
the waters push
through rocks
& centuries-old dirt
as it continues
to grow longer
& expand further.
eventually,
the gentler stream overpowers
the earth
& evolves into
a roaring
river.
the young waterway is fierce,
stubborn,
it is catastrophically powerful.
the tadpoles & fish
who have grown accustomed
to the pace
of the stream
were no match
for the rushing
& gushing
of the mighty river.
the trees overhead sprout fewer
& farther between,
forcefully exposing
the water
to the sun’s rays all
on its own.
larger fish would come
to call the river
their new home,
& alligators would come
to lurk beneath the deep,
dark blue.
the river cuts
through millennia-old stones
as it pushes further,
farther,
faster than that
of any waterway
that had come
before it.
the earth was no match for the destructiveness of the river
thus,
once it could bear no more,
it gave in
& allowed the river
to forge itself into
a lapping
ocean.
the new ocean expands endlessly,
boundlessly,
the depth
of the blue is insurmountable.
whales
& sharks
& colleges of fish
explore the new ocean,
soaking in the lovely rays
of the sun,
as the protection
of the trees
are long gone
& the small aquatic species
have long disappeared.
& as the blue rock of the earth hurdles
through the black abyss of space
for the rest of time,
the lapping of the ocean,
& the roaring of the river,
& the gentleness of the stream,
& the serenity of the pond,
will continue to forge the earth
together.
our tree was not meant for love
10.09.20
“i think that
we both went into the relationship
looking for things
that the other was incapable of supplying
at the time.
we grew a relationship that had beautiful leaves,
leaves that we can learn from,
leaves that hold memories that we can cherish,
but also rotted leaves that pointed out our flaws &
imperfections,
our less authentic selves,
& instead of strengthening each other
-although we both tried in our own ways to help the other,
we still fell short
& ended up hurting each other
-but that’s just the gamble of love,
sometimes you flourish
& sometimes you get
burned.”
chapter three
08.04.2022
the heart yearns for the familiar and resents change, we all just want things to stay the same because then we don’t have to work to build something from the ground up. it’s “easier” to renovate a building that you’re already familiar with, it’s a whole other thing to leave it behind and go find a new one to start fixing up. the brain yearns for comfort, and letting go means letting go of that comfort. that’s not to say that one still shouldn’t try to let go–letting go and moving on, finding a new sense of normalcy and comfort in what was once uncomfortable is what leads to real character development. so give yourself the chance to let go, your future self is waiting to meet you
I hope you enjoyed! I certainly had a fun time trying to recall all of the deeper symbolic meanings in waterways.
